It's been a tough couple days. My father's passing anniversary was yesterday. This week has flown by yet, stood still. Quite an oxymoron. I tend to not show my feelings, hardly ever in life, although if you know me well enough, you know exactly what I am going through and thinking. I am usually good at hiding emotions until I am alone. (unless it's through music, or some other avenue) Anyway, I miss my father. I was there when he passed. He did get to be a Grandpa briefly to Sunsetta, our other daughter. Thanks be to that. The coolest thing was he gave me a guitar pick that said "I am listening" before he died and his favorite song of mine was called "Nothing Like This". (youtube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpkpl1DkAao
Is it too negative to need to scream out at the world your life?! I have a whole book typed out of my life and have never published. Maybe I should. I have had people say they would read it, so that is a good sign. Someday. I keep procrastinating on that because it can show your vulnerablity. I have been through a lot, yet I am just like you. Cancer. Mental Health issues, stigma, abuse, PTSDish symptoms, OCD, bullying, (stood up for myself, of course), hospitalzations.
On another note, I have a 22 year old daughter whom lives in California. Long story short, she was out of my life after about 5 years old or so. The family really pushed to get me out of her life. The courts, tend not to be impartial like they should be. I always loved my daughter. Always will. A man, or woman for that matter, can only be pushed so far. When you have courts breathing down your neck and some spiteful people, it doesn't mix well. I still try not to harbor anger for all that and am trying to be a POSTIVE person in my daughter's life. We talk on social media a lot. I hope once- and if this COVID settles down, she can come home. We can start where we are at. I love her, she is a lot like me and musically talented! On a positive note! WE ARE BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN! (but I miss her) always.
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