My birthdays are starting to show on top of the head lol. Funny, yet not. My worst fears used to be losing teeth and the hair, on top of my head. Oh Boy. I sit at work and the cameras shine right over my head bringing the image to the monitor. Might as well prepare a tattoo with a man/or/woman with a lawnmower sitting up there. I hate it. I was told today, by a very intelligent doctor that fat clogs pores and helps in making baldness. Yikes! I have been thinking a lot lately about making some changes too. It's also a mindset. I have to stay positive. This mind / body connection is really off due to things out of my control (meds) I just have to find a smarter better way to improve myself. Really try, again. This is not my first rodeo on this situation. Patience. Will I ever return to my SR. year picture. Probably not. Life likes to do this to us as we age. I just have to fight back some. I really need a really good swift kick in the arse, to get this right. Anyway, I had a very long, interesting appointment today. New place. New doctor and he was very intelligent and knew what he was talking about. I have a lot of audio to listen to and reading to do. Homework. At first I didn't feel overwhelmed, but now I kind of do. Kind of like the race is on. I was thinking today, if I live until 65 - at minimum- that is only 20 years left. Ugh. 20 summers? That's it? I can't help but keep saying life is short and time does go by too fast. One of my daughters is 10 and I am like, what the ? What have I been doing with my time???? Where is it going?? I have made so many good changes in life- time for more.
Hope you all find yourself well.
*I Was Dying* - (song) for next release. (lyrics)
Creeping and Crawling
Back into life
all I want, is to walk again.
All kinds of crutches
now I can't depend on anyone
to be a true friend.
Ever since this diagnosis
and quitting the drugs
I've walked alone, remained anonymous.
Living and Dying
I'd swear I was healthy
Look back at old pictures
I was fading
funny how it tricked me
the body buzz
didn't know how to treat myself
from inside out I'd rust
Ever since this diagnosis
and quitting the drugs
I've walked alone
remained anonymous.
I Was Dying x2
We were dying
I Was Dying.
Stand up for yourself
forget about the pressures
only you know yourself
if they can't take it, let them go
Rock the boat
let it all go
learn to swim, in a different sea
Ever since this diagnosis and quitting the drugs
I've walked ALONE remained anonymous
I was Dying.
I was Dying.
You WERE DYING.
We were Dying.
AN Aerosmith song with some quitting drug references etc. (among other things) ha.
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